We all have coping mechanisms that are often learned early in life. They are outdated. They need to be revised, renewed and renovated in some meaningful way. What tends to happen with old coping mechanisms is this: We learn and develop new skills along the way, but we still rely on old coping mechanisms that have not been updated. These mechanisms are firmly rooted in pain which makes them resistant to change. 

For example, I may learn new return to joy skills to better handle times I feel some shame. I now have something on file to lean on in the moments my peace disappears. However, an old coping mechanism may be that instead of using the new skills I now have, I instead turn to old patterns of responding which means I hide and disconnect rather than engage God and others. I turn to sugar and sweets for comfort, and I still think bad thoughts I don’t want in my mind in these moments. Coping mechanisms are anchored in pain, which means some focused Immanuel interaction can free me up to better use the skills I’ve learned instead of relying on old patterns I want to break free from.